Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Next target: Neptune. I'm watching you, Neptune.

Many people have now remarked that, for several weeks now (4 or 5 weeks, if memory serves), my gchat status has stated that Ken Basin "is still consumptive." They assume that this is either an oversight (i.e., that there's no way I'm still consumptive), or that I must be on the verge of death.

Well, folks, more than six weeks after I began, I'm still coughing. But the strange thing is that I'm only consumptive at night (and perhaps just a little in the morning). In the middle of the day, I am consistently fine...healthy...strapping, really. For a while, I theorized that I must be allergic to something in my house: my dog, some solvent my cleaning lady uses, something. But recently I've noticed that I still start coughing at night, even when I'm out of the house. A few people keep begging me to go to the doctor's already, but I think that's unnecessary, as the cause of my ailment is now abundantly clear:

Evidently, I am allergic to the moon, and now it must be destroyed.