Saturday, May 24, 2008

Martha's Vineyard photo travelogue

Martha's Vineyard is host to "Flying Horses," the oldest working merry go-round in America. I've heard the phrase "reach for the brass ring" used to refer to making partner at law firm so many times that I forgot it actually referred to reaching for a real brass ring on a merry go-round. That is, until I actually got the real brass ring! I wonder if this means I can't make partner...

The gingerbread houses of the town of Oak Bluff. Yes, these were built by actual adults. I wonder how that's possible too.

It's hard to tell from this angle, and we never got a better shot, but this old man is wearing a shirt that reads, "I choked Linda Lovelace." Nice, old dude.

Here's the secret to making new friends, in two words: Smart Car. For one brief, glorious day, we rented a bright yellow Smart Car. Every time we got out of the car, someone asked us a question about it. Every time we returned to it we found somebody inspecting it or taking a picture. Smart Cars: bringing people together since 2008 (1998 for Europe)!

Don't recognize this scenic locale? That's Dike's Bridge on Chappaquiddick Island, site of a certain incident involving Ted Kennedy, Mary Jo Kopechne, and (probably) a whole lot of beer. And hey, just because Kennedy was hospitalized for a brain tumor-induced seizure the day before this picture was taken doesn't mean it was in bad taste, right?

Okay, fine, it was totally in bad taste. But we probably realized that at the time, since we waited for a group of very Massachusetts-looking fishermen to clear the area before starting our photo shoot.

When we happened upon a Japanese garden with a nice little bridge, I decided to do something silly and cool...

...till Pam decided to go and one-up me. Damn dancers.

Smart Car + favorite picture pose = double awesome!

That's right, this Smart Car is off-roading. Booya.

Pam scolding the dastardly rock that led us astray. Doesn't this look like it marks some kind of significant trail? Actually, it marks a trail from a parking lot to some guy's backyard. I guess that's cool too...

Seated in front of the majestic clay cliffs of Gay's Head. But I'm too mature to make a joke out of the name of that location. Yes... Entirely too mature... Tee hee...

Friday, May 23, 2008

New York photo travelogue

Oh my God it's real! And it's only, like, 10 years out of date!

Through a rather random connection that is not worth explaining (but involves this little project of mine), I got us backstage at Colbert. Stephen Colbert high-fived me! Vigorously! And then he shook my hand and told Tina here that he loves her mom too. The show was awesome enough, but the experience is also memorable for being the only time someone has ever told me that I made them as happy as they had ever been in their lives (you're welcome, Tina).

A bag of bunnies in the Theatre District. If I had a bag of bunnies, I know that's what I'd do: sit with them on the sidewalk of 43rd St. and wait for passers-by to fawn.

Apparently, this "OMFG" ad campaign has been going for some time now. But I'm new to the Gossip Girls thing, and I think it's freaking awesome.

FAO Schwartz: where awesome stuffed animal pictures happen.

Who would buy this? Who would give this to their child? It's disturbing! This product must be made for people who secretly hate and resent their children. If I hated my child, I would buy this enormous spider, and set it up right next to their face while they slept, and shut the door just loudly enough as I exited to wake them. Then I'd stand in the hallway and wait for the screams.

What's that you say? This picture of me hitting on Lego Hermione isn't seedy and disturbing enough for you? Then look closer, I say.

Yeah, that's my open fly. It's okay, Hermione. Touch it! Love it! Liebe mein abschmenkee!

I mean, sure, it's a nice enough picture. But it's just not salacious enough compared to the other one, even if Harry is looking a bit...puckered.

Best amateur Big piano performance ever!

"And I do my little turn on the catwalk..."

Nobody has ever quite buttered my corn like Pam here...

...which explains why Brian couldn't help but reach for a bite.

Oh Rice to Riches, the only thing I love more than your saucy slogans and incisive observations is your ridiculously delicious rice pudding.

Thanks again, New York! You're always there for a good time...or just some good advice.

What the hell, California?

Two days of rain in a row? Thunderstorms? And to top it off, visible sun on the horizon to taunt me along the way?

Not cool. Not cool.

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Thoughts on being home

- I live here now. Like, actually live here. Wow.

- Could I have spent two hours at home without getting into some serious discussion with my parents? Obviously not.

- It's raining. Why am I here if it's raining? Not raining is the point of here.

- I am apparently not allowed a whole closet. Everyone else's stuff has invaded it, and it doesn't want to leave.

- First California meal, same as it always is after I've been away for a while: In 'n Out cheeseburger, animal style, no lettuce, and an order of fries.

- It's not as seamless as I'd hoped.

Thursday, May 08, 2008

Check this box if you expect to graduate this term

At precisely 4:20 pm, on Thursday, May 8, 2008, with my left hand, I turned in the last piece of schoolwork I will ever know. And at that same moment, with my right hand, I cracked open my first beer as a free man.

Who knew that freedom would taste like this:

Thursday, May 01, 2008

Remember when you used to do things?

I think the thing I miss most about college is the way I used my free time. It wasn't about sitting on my ass, watching YouTube and reading It was about making silly comic books and getting drunk and doing the t-shirt ninja thing, and taking on random arts and crafts projects because they seemed like cool things to do. That's what I feel like I've lost.

Things like this: