Thursday, May 17, 2007

As bad as being a lawyer is, it could be worse

The case I've been working on this week is, in essence, about bovine flatulence.

I've been reading (and trying to object to) expert testimony about the polluting effects of methane emissions from cow's asses. The last few days of my life have, for the most part, been dedicated to the study of cow farts.

I'm pretty much done now, but not everyone out there is so lucky. I was reading expert testimony about bovine flatulence. That testimony, in turn, relied on several studies about bovine flatulence. There are people out there whose job it is to study cow farts. They conduct studies. They calculate estimated per-cow factors. They contemplate the literally TONS of methane that are emitted from cow asses every year. They have to separately test the cows and the liquid manure and the solid manure. Milk cows vs. dry cows.

They wake up in the morning. "Welp, time to check the cow farts."

And for this week, my life was waking up in the morning and saying, "Welp, time to litigate the cow farts."

But at least, for me, it's already over. For those experts, they'll wake up tomorrow, and their lives will STILL be all about cow farts. Woe is them.

Although this also demonstrates to me perhaps my greatest weakness as a lawyer...I could take on this same evidentiary issue, and if it were attached to an entertainment issue, maybe I would give a damn. But because it's related to barnyard gas-passing, I could really care less. I just need out of this rotation in the environmental department.

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